im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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