thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
