you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
