Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
