I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Can I color on your dick again?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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