dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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