Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
