Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
