the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
