we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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