I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm too high and old for this...
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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