His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
