I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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