I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
