I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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