i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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