In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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