i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
not ubering you a puppy
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