So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
