I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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