We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
