haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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