Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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