No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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