No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
