He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
