He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
