dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
