That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
