Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
