You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize
