apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize