I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
