Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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