my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
