Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
