it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
