this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
