This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Randomize
