Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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