ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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