Farmville is her only friend.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
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