i think my mom watched the whole time
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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