Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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