Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
