I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
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