she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
