just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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