I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
