i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Vodka?
Forever.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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