Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
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Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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