I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
