Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
