I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
