I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
