What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
