I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
