This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize