dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
