sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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