We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
