if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
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