She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
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