I'm eating all of the evidence.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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